Mother’s Day: When Mothers Feel Disconnected From Themselves — An Ayurvedic Perspective

May 31 is Mother’s Day.

Every year, we celebrate mothers as symbols of endless love, strength, sacrifice, and care. We thank them for everything they do for their children, families, and homes.

But behind these celebrations, there is a quieter reality that many mothers experience and rarely speak about.

A feeling that sounds something like this:

“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
“I do everything for everyone, but I don’t feel present in my own life.”

This experience is not always sadness, burnout, or something visible from the outside.

Sometimes it is a subtle but profound feeling of disconnection.

Mothers often spend years carrying the emotional, physical, and mental needs of everyone around them—raising children, caring for ageing parents, supporting partners, managing homes, balancing work, remembering details, and holding families together.

And slowly, without noticing, they begin to lose connection with themselves.

Not because they stopped caring.

But because for a long time, their own energy, attention, nourishment, and identity have been moving outward—with very little returning inward.

Ayurveda offers a thoughtful and compassionate way to understand this experience.

It does not ask, “What is wrong with her?”

Instead, it asks:

“What has been nourishing her?”

This Is Not Losing Yourself — It Is Losing Connection With What Sustains You

From an Ayurvedic perspective, feeling disconnected does not mean a person is broken or failing.

It often reflects a gradual depletion of the systems that help us feel alive, grounded, emotionally nourished, and connected to ourselves.

Although anyone can experience this, motherhood creates conditions where it becomes especially common.

Ayurveda understands this through several layers.

1. When Ojas Becomes Depleted — The Loss of Inner Nourishment

In Ayurveda, Ojas represents our deepest reserve of vitality and nourishment.

It supports:

• Emotional stability
• Resilience
• Sense of contentment
• Capacity to give and receive love
• Feeling connected and fulfilled

Motherhood often involves constant giving.

Giving time.
Giving attention.
Giving emotional presence.
Giving care.

But when giving continues without restoration, Ojas can gradually become depleted.

This may show up as:

• Feeling emotionally flat
• Becoming easily overwhelmed
• Losing joy in everyday life
• Feeling disconnected despite being surrounded by loved ones
• Difficulty feeling rested even after rest

Often society asks:

“What happened to her?”

Ayurveda asks something different:

“What is nourishing her Ojas?”
“Who is caring for the caregiver?”

Because nourishment is not selfish.

It is what allows care to remain sustainable.

2. Increased Vata — When Life Feels Constantly in Motion

After becoming a mother, a woman often moves through enormous physical, hormonal, emotional, and lifestyle changes.

Ayurveda recognises that these transitions can increase Vata dosha—the principle associated with movement, change, and the nervous system.

When Vata becomes excessive, experiences may include:

• Anxiety
• Restlessness
• Insomnia
• Difficulty settling
• Overthinking
• Feeling emotionally distant
• Constant mental activity

Many mothers describe it this way:

“I am doing everything I need to do… but I don’t feel present in my own life.”

This is not necessarily a lack of gratitude or love.

Sometimes it reflects a nervous system that has remained in constant movement for too long.

When Vata is elevated, attention stays focused on the next responsibility instead of experiencing the current moment.

3. When Sattva Becomes Hidden — Life Starts Feeling Mechanical

Ayurveda describes Sattva as the quality of clarity, balance, meaning, and inner light.

When Sattva becomes overshadowed:

• Daily routines become mechanical
• Care becomes obligation instead of connection
• Joy becomes something scheduled instead of experienced
• Rest feels uncomfortable or undeserved
• Identity becomes reduced to only one role: “mother”

This does not mean love disappears.

Many mothers continue loving deeply.

But when there is no space left for their own inner life, they may slowly stop recognising themselves beyond what they do for others.

The Answer Is Not To Try Harder

Ayurveda offers an important reminder:

This is not a productivity problem.

This is often a nourishment problem.

Healing does not begin by doing more.

It begins by allowing restoration.

What Mothers May Need More Of

• Receive care—not only give it
• Reduce excess stimulation and mental overload
• Restore nourishment through food, rest, and supportive routines
• Create protected time that belongs only to themselves
• Reconnect with sensory pleasure and moments of stillness
• Allow space for joy without needing to earn it

Sometimes healing starts with very small moments:

A warm meal eaten slowly.
Ten quiet minutes alone.
A walk without responsibility.
Warm oil massage.
Uninterrupted sleep.
A conversation where they do not need to take care of anyone.

A Note To Every Mother

If you have been feeling tired, distant, emotionally stretched, or unable to recognise yourself—

It may not mean you have lost yourself.

It may simply mean that for a long time, you have been giving more than you have been receiving.

And perhaps your body and mind are quietly asking for something important:

Care for yourself with the same tenderness you offer everyone else.

This Mother’s Day, may mothers receive more than appreciation.

May they receive rest.
Presence.
Support.
Nourishment.
And permission to remember that their wellbeing matters too.

Because a mother’s wellbeing is not a luxury.

It is the foundation from which care grows.